Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For A Life Unsettled
Title: Isolated 03 Feb 2011 9:06 am
Reviewer: snapeswidow (Signed) [Report This]
    Poor Harry. Can i Punch Ron? Please?

    I can't wait to see where you are going with this story. I never thought i'd say thisbut....."Good for you Lucius!" Im glad that Harry had someone to 'care' for him on Patents. im still a little...Paranoid...that Mr. Malfoy is just using harry to get at snape.

    Author's Response: No worries about the Malfoy's.  They are truly being genuine in this story which is why I wanted to cut Voldemort and his death eater's activities out of it completely.
Title: Isolated 03 Feb 2011 9:03 am
Reviewer: Mellow Moon (Signed) [Report This]
    The Malfoys kind of coming to Harry's rescue was unexpected, but I liked it, especially since Voldemort and the death eaters don't play a part really.
Title: Isolated 03 Feb 2011 9:01 am
Reviewer: chrmisha (Signed) [Report This]
    I like your story but... Ron is really bothering me. Ron can be a git, and he's not my favorite character to begin with, but this Ron is just wrong. The times when Ron has turned on Harry, it's been about Ron--Ron is jealous of Harry, Ron is hungry and feeling sorry for himself--it's always about Ron. He can be immature and self-centered. But the Ron in your story is mean and vindicative and that doesn't ring true. You can still have Ron be a git about everything--I know you want to emphasize the isolation angle--but to keep it in-character, you'll need to find a way to make it about Ron, and not just about "Slytherins" (Perhaps Ron is feeling slighted that Harry accompanied the Malfoys and not the Weasleys, or that Harry is too good for his friends/the Gryffindors because his father is a Professor/Head of Slytherin). Anyways, I hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. I can't wait to see where the story goes and what chamges Snape's mind.

    Author's Response:

    In my mind Ron is upset because he believes Harry has switched sides.  Previously it's been him and Harry against the Slytherins and against the world.  Now Harry is uncertain and that bothered Ron enough to push him over the edge.  But since Harry and Ron aren't talking, and Hermione and Ginny are also sort of out of the picture, Harry doesn't know this, and neither does the reader, at least not yet.  Sorry it bothered you that much, but it bothered Harry that much too and I wanted the reader to be upset by it.


    Thanks for the review.  Constructive criticism is of course always welcome so I definitely don't mind.  I always look for ways to make my writing better.

Title: Common Place 03 Feb 2011 8:49 am
Reviewer: Mellow Moon (Signed) [Report This]
    Not only is he in denial, he's being really immature. It's a bit amusing to read about all the ridiculous things he's punishing Harry for, yet at the same time its kind of sad.
Title: Paternis Sentimentis 03 Feb 2011 8:46 am
Reviewer: MoiraRClip (Signed) [Report This]
    I really like this so far! Snape also seemed very in character. I like how Voldemort isn't a threat and you're just focusing on Harry's thoughts and feelings. Those are my favorite type of stories. :]
Title: Paternis Sentimentis 03 Feb 2011 8:32 am
Reviewer: Mellow Moon (Signed) [Report This]
    Someone is definitely in denial. Harry's actually much calmer about the situation than I expected him to be, but I really like that. Great start.
Title: Isolated 03 Feb 2011 8:21 am
Reviewer: me (Anonymous) [Report This]
    Wow. Fantastic.
Title: Isolated 03 Feb 2011 8:11 am
Reviewer: chrmisha (Signed) [Report This]
    Ooh, interesting. I've rarely read a "good" Lucius. I loved his line about why he was taking Harry under his wing. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Title: Paternis Sentimentis 03 Feb 2011 7:55 am
Reviewer: chrmisha (Signed) [Report This]
    Well this is a neat start! I can't wait to see how Snape responds when he accepts the truth! Good writing too!
Title: Isolated 03 Feb 2011 7:26 am
Reviewer: Sevie Prince (Signed) [Report This]
    It's really good. Why don't you post next 3 chapters today :)

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