| Title: Mary Worth’s Story
| 30 Mar 2010 6:09 pm
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| Reviewer: heartstar (Anonymous)
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Oh! That was great who will she kill first hmm I would say Vernon and go from there.voldy would be hard for a while.
Well, I hope she gets Uncle Vernon! The scum deserves it! And now that Sel knows about Voldemort's soul, can they remove it from her? Mary was really interesting. I liked how Severus was there to protect Sel when she needed it.
That was funny how Sophie thought Sev was a vampire. And I liked the rhymes the kids said and can't wait to see what was going on in the mirror. But they better not wake up Severus again. Aggie was really cool too!
I'm really glad that Sev let Sel and her friends go and it was funny to see them pick out costumes. I hope they all have fun. You should have had Sev dress up too!
That's a really sweet idea! I love it when the wizards go and do Muggle traditions. It's such fun!
| Title: Mary Worth’s Story
| 02 Nov 2009 1:26 pm
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| Reviewer: Catalpa (Anonymous)
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The final two chapters are nicely creepy and build up the suspense. I was wondering how it would all turn out! It feels as if you could take the story even further, beyond the Halloween challenge, if you choose to! The only criticism I can voice concerns the numerous misspellings and typos throughout, along with inappropriate word choice (especially homonyms). These errors are really distracting to your readers. If you decide to continue the story, please try to get some help proofreading!
^_^ Cute begining! There were a few mistakes, in the begining you spelt amusement wrong. Commas were needed in a few places, and here 'Hermione beamed. “Yeah! And maybe he’dlet you guys come too!”' there is a space needed between he'd and let. You might consider getting a beta. Everyone can use another pair of eyes to catch mistakes we miss! :)
Nice story so far!
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