This is an interesting start; but the conversation is a little hard to follow. I cannot tell sometimes who is talking!
It really is so very horrible that a little boy would think something like that and such commonalities exist; a child being uncertain of being loved and kept and having to test boundries in such a way as to find that assurance and some still don't believe. It's heartbreaking.
| Title: Chapter 2
| 01 Jan 2014 2:31 pm
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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Thank you a very good start to the story
| Title: Chapter 22
| 18 Feb 2011 2:16 am
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| Reviewer: Shhhh (Anonymous)
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Great story - I liked the realistic portrait of Harry and Snape's relationship - that Snape was fair with discipline and that Harry understood why he was being punished. Thanks! Hope there's more out there!
I really like the start here! And I adore the end of this chapter - of Snape talking to Lily's photograph. It's quite beautiful imagery.
Author's Response: Snape loved Lily, so I guess he can indulge himself in the privacy of his room and talk to her. Thanks a lot for reading my story. LL
awww i love seeing the gentle concerned side of Snape
Author's Response: I like this side of Snape too. Thanks for reading my story. LL
| Title: Chapter 2
| 21 Mar 2010 1:29 pm
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| Reviewer: Grace (Anonymous)
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This story would benefit heartily from a beta reader. Also, these are real people speaking, let them use contractions. A lack of any contractions makes the language awkward and stilted.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your comments. I do have a beta, but as you may have realized English is not my first language, I will gladly make changes if you point the mistakes. LL
Loved the story! A sequel would be awesome!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review and for liking my story. I will try to start the sequel soon. LL
| Title: Chapter 22
| 14 Mar 2010 8:12 am
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| Reviewer: ankita (Anonymous)
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wd love a sequel to it...
enjoyed reading the story too...
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review and for liking my story. I will try to start the sequel soon. LL
This was a wonderful story. A sequel would be great if you have the time and inspiration to write one!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review and for liking my story. I will try to start the sequel soon. LL
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