This story has a lot of potential. Your writing is solid. However, it felt like you wrote the start of a much more complex story and then skipped all the interesting character growth and growing pains to present us with a tidy ending that felt decidedly disconnected from the first half of the story. I would love to see you fill in the gap and make this into a very fine piece of fiction. As it stands, it simply feels rather unfinished. Regardless, thank you for sharing your work and I will be watching for more. Your writing has excellent potential. Good luck.
Thank you for this lovely story.
I for one am really glad you got into Severitus cause this is an awesome story
Thank you for your story and the very happy ending! I’m looking forward to reading more of your work so please keep writing, if you want to of course. Congratulations on completing the story
A sweet ending to your story! Big congrats on completing it. I look forward to reading your new works!
Author's Response:
| Title: Debacle
| 28 Jul 2021 6:11 am
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| Reviewer: Fmh (Signed)
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Thank you so much for updating. The trial scene was very well written and the ending was lovely
This was a nice chapter. I’m glad the truth won out in the end. The end of the chapter was touching and I’m looking forward to the epilogue!
This was an excellent chapter, well done on that. I really liked the hopeful ending? And I do hope we get a little more with these characters. This has been a fun story to read and it’s coming to an end so soon. Thanks for updating!
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