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Reviews For Whelp II -- The Wrath of Snape
The characters are developed nicely, and nobody seems out of character at all. Everybody seems spot-on, and I can hear them talking in my head, which is always a good sign for me! I'm so looking forward to the next chapter!
Keep up the fabulous work.
snape504@yahoo.com Author's Response: Thank you for your review, snape504! I don't send out personal notices, though you can get them from P&S by registering the story as one of your favorites and making sure your preferences say you want to receive notification at your email address when your favorite stories have been updated. Hope this helps, --rachel
I do think that you need a bit of a beta, as you do have minor spelling errors. I know what you mean, but a reader whose first language is not English might get a bit confused. Or you can try going over your chapters word by word backwards. I find it's amazing how I will see errors that I missed (in my own fics) that way. Anyway, maybe Severus should have insisted that Harry be allowed in the next room when Dumbledore has a three hour meeting. I'm sure if Harry is told to stay in a room and be quiet he would. I'm with Dumbles on not letting anyone know that Harry is Severus's biological son. I'm sure that enough people see Severus as "that Death Eater" so too much of a connection with Snape... well I'm thinking it might be detrimental to Harry later when Voldemort comes back. I'm wondering if there will be Dementors around Hogwarts this time. At least Harry can cast a Patronus already. I'm soo looking forward to see Sirius seeing Harry in Snivellous' arms. But there is also a part of me that knows if Sirius knows that Harry was abused, and is now very attached to Snivellous, Sirius would not try to take Harry from Snape. Sirius does love his godson. If anything, he might feel guilty that he didn't break out and steal Harry away from the Dursleys. (I've always wanted to see Harry mad at Sirius for going after Peter so recklessly. Harry could have used a wizard to scare his relatives into treatly him fairly. Where did it help Harry for Sirius to have been locked up for so long?) Will there be Aurors at Hogwarts? I would bet that some Aurors (like Moody) probably don't trust Snape any further than they could throw him, and believe that Snape should be in Azkaban. I'm wondering if Harry would bond even more towards Snape if he evesdrops on some Auror(s) bad-mouthing Snape. You know, Snape was bad, Harry has been told he's bad, therefore he belongs with Snape because they're both bad. Does that make sense? I'm also wondering if Harry will adopt a big black stray dog? LOL! Keep writing! (^_^)/ BEM Author's Response: Hi Bugeyedmonster, Thanks for the review! I do think that you need a bit of a beta, as you do have minor spelling errors. Really? I couldn't find a single typo in chapter 16. I've always wanted to see Harry mad at Sirius for going after Peter so recklessly. Me, too. All that ill-considered action did was make it so no one was available to take care of Harry except the Dursleys, which was no good for Harry at all. Of course, if Sirius was available, there's no saying Dumbles would have let him have Harry anyway. Having him at the Dursleys was good for Dumbles, if not good for Harry. My personal feeling is that, In JKRs tale, Dumbles did everything he could, not to prepare Harry to defend himself, but to make sure Harry wouldn't. Dumbles needed a perfect pawn, someone who literally had nothing to live for, someone who would willingly allow himself to be sacrificed for the "greater good," as, of course, in the end, dying by Voldie's wand was the only way Harry himself could defeat the dark lord. As for Aurors and such, you'll just have to see. . . . :-)
I wonder if you'll have Sirius be innocent in this version -- either way, that would be a tough one. Severus most definitely would not like to share Harry with him in any way. I'm burning with curiosity at what the favor will be. Lol, I hope you update this soon, I honestly cannot wait :D |
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